POETRY

But God: A Continuation

 

I was troubled, but God
I was overwhelmed, but God
I was crushed, but God
My light was dimming, but God
My life was fading, but God
I would’ve died, but God told me,
“Do not fear”
So I stopped relying on myself
I learned to rely only on God
He rescued me
I have placed my confidence in Him
C.N. 11/9/23

 

 

 

 

Sleepless Nights

 

Sometimes I think staying awake does me a favor
I am up all night thinking about my life
And in my tiredness I won’t go to sleep
I won’t give myself the rest I need for a better day
Where I feel rejuvenated from head to toe
Instead, I am up all night
Remaining constant in nothingness as time passes by
My eyes are heavy and mine is awake
But I refuse to go to sleep
Because somehow convinced myself that I was doing myself a favor
C.N. 10/13/21

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Chaos

It’s time for me to find my own chaos
In God I trust
Let it be that I walk into a situation
Where life is a haze
Where thoughts are formless
Where confusion whispers
But, I’m in a spacious place
He brought me out and into a spacious place
He rescued me
Moving from one atmosphere to another
From chaos to peace
The gray has blown back
And I’m still standing
Taking the same stance with a different view
Like a sudden vision that emerges
Like a vacuum void of noise, thought, and anxiety
Me in a spacious place
Like a red dot on white paper
Chaos molds into order
C.N. 8/20/21

 

I pray

I pray for the restoration of my vision
To see beyond what I see
And see You in the middle of everything
Oh God,
You are the You I speak of
I pray to You
Beyond what I ask and think
Beyond my selfish desire
Unravel me
And build me back up
Reconstructed and transformed
In me I have You
By the the Spirit
I pray
C.N. 8/20/21

 

At Sea On A Boat

GOD!
I need help
I’m lost at sea
Surrounded by waves of worry
In an endless void
The blue grades into black
And hopelessness becomes a color
I’m on a boat
And I’m unsteady
Tossed by the wind
Back and forward
Back and forward
Back and forward
From sunrise to sunset
Again I sit with my thoughts
Tethering at sea
I’m on a boat
Lord!
I need help
C.N. 8/12/21

 

I Have Everything I Need

It’s always something God
I always manage to find a replacement for my procrastinations
It’s like one member of the family leaves, and another one comes
A family of deception
Built on an open faced lie
Who am I kidding?
No one; especially not myself
Because I know what I ought to do,
But I don’t do it
Like I said, there’s always an excuse
There’s always a replacement
Another reason
That one more thing becomes two more things
And all of a sudden,
I’m sitting on a congested road in traffic
Delayed by my lasidasical life
Quite lazy, to put it in simpler terms
And it makes no sense to be upset
Upset at the situation
Upset at those moving in their lanes
And upset at myself
But in the midst of it all
The truth is
I have everything within my reach.
I have everything within my means.
I don’t need to lie to myself
C.N. 8/6/21

 

Why Do I Doubt Me?

Who said I couldn’t do it?
Nobody.
So why do I doubt me?
Why do I choose to see the negative when I can see the positive?
Why do I choose to see the uphill battle when I can embrace the challenge?
Why do I doubt my skills and what I’m capable of?
Why do I diminish what’s possible when it’s so clear of the impossibilities becoming possibilities and all I have to do is try.
All I have to do is believe.
All I have to do is do.
So again I ask myself, why do I doubt me?
C.N. 8/4/21

 

What A Fool

I’m tired of my performative nature.
What a fool I am.
I’m tired of my coy actions.
Like a fool I’ve been.
To live in a willful state of deception.
What a fool I’ve been.
C.N. 7/26/21

 

Dream Again

In this tiny world
We were all meant to do great things
Without a fear in the world
If it fails or if it goes

So get your hope up again
Start to remember your wild dreams
Let go of the fear today

And dream again
Dream again
C.N. 7/16/21

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Beyond Me

I can’t possibly live in a world this small
Or a bubble this size
Or the thoughts in my mind
Beyond me, who am I?

Maybe I accepted a reality,
Where I’m content with just dying
Just living through a breeze
Beyond me, What can I see?
C.N. 6/1/21

So Photogenic

I wish the mirror would capture my beauty
Unlike my phone in the hands of my siblings
I love the way I look
I’m so photogenic

I wish I was my own photographer
Giving me directions on which ways to pose
Because I know all my best angles
And I’m so photogenic

I can see the serious editorials
And I can see the big screen photo shoots
There’s nothing I can’t capture
Because I’m so photogenic
C.N. 5/3/21

The People of My Dreams

Where are the people of my dreams?
We talked in the realm of timelessness
I shared my heart with perfect strangers
I saw the expressions in your faces

Do you exist in my woken state?
Are you all just resurfaces of the many faces I’ve seen?
So quickly I saw and so quickly I forget
Would I recognize you if we met again?
Would I recognize the people of my dreams?
C.N. 5/2/21

Figure Skater With Grace

I watched a figure skater glide with grace
Somehow she managed to find her place
She found her passion on ice with skates

Every move emanated from her soul
She glided with profession and complete control
She discovered what God wanted her to know
To move in the rhythm of grace

Such fluid motions
All done without a single thought
What a beautiful story
From a life in step with time on the clock
C.N. 4/29/21

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I Noticed That

You ever noticed in a crowd of people
There are so many reactions
Yet we manage to see one smile
And the rest is a distraction

My eyes are drawn to that one person
And in the moment, nothing else matters
I was never meant to see the rest of it
Because the rest just scatters

I have one line of sight
So I see one thing at a time
I may notice other things
But I’m staring at one’s light
C.N. 4/28/21

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Long Live The Queen

 

The queen has fallen

The queen is gone

The queen has died

Now I’m alone

 

No more morning tea

No more midday rides

No more nightly chats

No one by my side

 

But I shall live my life

I shall not ask why

I shall mourn and heal

And I shall not die

C.N. 10/14/20

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Porcelain Lips

 

Your lips were the last things to go,

For a final moment plastered in time

The countless words spoken echos,

In the chambers of my mind

 

From the brightest of reds,

To the simplicity of nudes

Your painted lips was an outline,

A guide for what to do

 

Your lips ran with speed,

Laughing without fear of the future 

With each panting of breathe,

They grew ever so weaker

 

Your lips shut into a perfect smile,

Never to speak a word again

They became fragile,

Glossed over like precious porcelain

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Interlude

 

Where are your porcelain lips?

Where is your smile?

Where are your silent whispers?

Six-feet underground.

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Have your lips crumbled?

Have they faded like dust in the wind?

Are they but a shadow?

Indeed; revealing your skeleton.

C.N. 8/28/20

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A Fellow Free Man

 

There’s no such thing as taking a break from You

I thought I loved You, but distance reveals Your absence

I’m susceptible to the world without You

The weight of peril and fear surrounded me like black storms

My mind was overwhelmed with clouds of darkness

I often questioned without ever receiving a single response

I was in company with the cackling of evil spirits

I never received a single meal or a simple hello

I was surrounded by unfamiliar beings, yet I was alone

Heat irritated me with internal turmoil, yet I was cold

Frozen in place, I was ensnared by a cage of regret

I rested in the blackness of torment on rock bottom

My light bulb was broken and I was blind

Every gesture I made was met with a wall of steel

My thoughts became quicksand and I was suffocating

All that remained was the diminishing sound of footsteps

 

With a sinister wail of desperation, I murmured from my heart

“Who goes there? Won’t you set me free?”

A darting thought passed me by like the speed of light

At last I heard the words of a fellow free man

“I can’t do what you won’t do; only you have the key”

The key was the Word and I remembered once more

I mustered all my energy and screamed out “Lord!”

 

The clanging of chains made a symphony on the ground

Then there was a rumbling proceeded by a brief spark

In the midst of darkness, I saw a blur so pronounced

So, I stood and walked towards the dime-sized light

I stared into the perfection of light coming into focus

My enforced limbo of delirium was but a hourglass

How quickly I forgot You; my heart repents dearly

Walking next to You, I’m in the company of a fellow free man

C.N. 4/29/30

 

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Don’t You Want To Be Free?

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Where does one go to get sober?

Who does one go to to confide in?

I keep on tripping over myself,

Waiting for my feet to stop stumbling

Maybe a fall would do me well

It would keep me grounded;

Long enough to be quiet,

And long enough to be still

In my drunken state,

A fall would keep me down long enough to sleep

A real rest

A real moment of honesty

Be honest Chi-chi

Don’t you want to be free?

Don’t you want the weights to be lifted?

Will the old things bring you comfort once more?

Won’t you step forward and not look back?

Why become a pillar of salt?

Why season your flesh’s appetite?

Call it what you want; gourmet oatmeal

But see it for what it is; vomit

Cold and chunky,

Sour and funky

Smelly and nasty

Stop!

Open your eyes and see

Is this where you want to be?

Don’t you want to be free?

C.N. 4/14/20

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Lioness

When God gives you a mane you have to learn how to tame;
Beauty in complexion, strength in restraint
Yet every bit power in stillness, with boldness and humility in each stride
Gentle and fierce, with the fullness of wisdom
Living wild and free for Christ is in me
C.N. 9/19/19

 

Blind Guide

You choke her with your words and you think you're in the right
Your experience is grotesque and repugnant
It disfigures her like turmeric on the nails
The vile you spill stains like pomegranate
Your words have turned into a clutched fist;
Crushing her delicate nature, her beautiful insides,
Her rhythmic breathing, her pique misty-eyes

Has your gray hair become a crown for a fool?
Has your age become blinders to your eyes?
Will your sayings be your only guiding compass?
Has correction left you like a loosely tied necklace?

Humility resists your magnetized pride
Respect escapes faster than a resident from a burning building
Honor sits atop the roof to eagerly meet silence,
And peace joins the fleeting chorus

Your left eye has become a rival to your right eye,
Like haughty rivaling lofty
Must you continue down the ascending cliff,
For pride comes before a fall thereafter shortly
C.N. 5/3/19

 

Will

I tried to run away, but You followed me
I tried to scream, but You spoke to me gently
I tried to play the silent game, but You smiled at me with delight
I laughed in defiance to spite You, but You burned with loving fire in Your eyes

So I figured,

I might as well listen and obey
I might as well walk in your ways
I might as well vivo la vida al maximo
I might as well run beyond the status quo

So,

I'll run towards the upwards call on my life
I'll live within my means and beyond that, sacrifice
I'll befriend wisdom and follow her guidance
I'll overcome no matter the circumstance
C.N. 5/2/19

 

I Am and I Was

I am a child and I was created,
For You made my delicate, inner parts;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb;
You made me so wonderfully complex;
Your workmanship is marvelous and I know;
You watched as I was formed in utter seclusion;
You watched as I was woven together in the dark of the womb
The intimacy of my life was set in motion;
Let it not be to my doom

Interlude

Save me from this impending torture
Don't let this womb become my grave
Whisper your words of truth in their ears
Don't let my life be snuffed in a haze
Bring me my rest and peace of mind
Don't let my conscious be stained in worship
Remove their torn from my side
Don't let my life be detached and aborted

Interlude

I am alive and I was on earth
You will never know me till we meet again
Now in heaven, I rejoice in the presence of the Lord
You will never know of the Master's plan
The time will come when all is known,
Yet my heart remains tender and unweighted
The truth remains, my life is a life;
I am a child and I was created
C.N. 4/4/19

 

Love

Long love
Wide love
High love
Deep love

Untamable love
Wild love
Endless love
Unconditional love

Cherished love
Forever love
Seeded love
Rooted love

Favored love
Lavished love
Sacrificial love
Unmerrited love

Unexplainable love
Unfathomable love
Heavy love
Rich love

Liquid love
Pouring love
Overflowing love
Immeasurable love

Experiential love
Omnipresent love
Extravagant love
Magnificent love

Holy love
Fatherly love
Heavenly love
Lovely love

Perfect love
Godly love
God is love
God loves you
C.N. 2/12/19

 

Grave and Eternity

My mouth stinkeths
My body reeks
The grave speakeths
"Come down to me"

A voice sayeths
"Come out to me"
My heart speakeths
I will to thee
C.N. 9/11/18

 

Tree Men

The tree men are fading away
One stands tall in mighty valor
With an immovable stance it braves mother
Unfazed by its dwindling cover
Another sits on a throne
Once standing, now slumped over
With a look of disappointment
Time has weathered the tree men
With their existence piling up on the floor
Journeying to a distant land
Inducted into the remembrance of memories
Their stature slowly fading
Their foliage succumbing to wind
As they enter into the past
Vowing to stand together again
The future awaits their return
One last bow, one last ...
C.N. 9/11/18

 

I and me

I in Him, and He in Me
We in you, and you in Us
Remain in Me, and I will remain in you
With Me, we say our Father
Sent from the father, I AM
Sent to you, I AM
I am Advocate; call Me Spirit
For I the Spirit and you the spirit are one
I draw you, and We are joined to the Father
I the Father, and you the child
C.N. 6/4/18


 

 

Double-sided

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“A party gives laughter,

Wine gives happiness,

And money gives everything!”

 

Yet laughter conceals sorrow

Wine conceals sadness,

And money brings worries

C.N. 5/21/18

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Old and Gray

As I get old and gray,
I walk a little slower
I dream a bit more
My body grows weaker,
Yet has made it this far
As I get old and gray,
My heart longs for rest
My spirit grows stronger
My body’s fight wanes,
And heaven grows fonder
C.N. 5/21/18

 

Look and See My Heart

Sometimes I just want to cut open my chest and show you my heart,
Like a child in tears holding their ripped paper airplane
The bitter tears I cry internally have become a pool of acid,
Slowly eroding the internal makeup of my heart
Look and see my heart,
As if I really have to remove this stone to be transparent
You see beyond the translucent and opaque
I know, but I don’t want to know,
Yet I don’t know what I don’t know
Look father, look at the condition of this heart I give
Any longer and my beat will fade away
I can not go on broken-hearted or heartless,
And I can not go on with this stone in my chest
I was told to think; think how much more the blood
What I hold before you will soon become bloodless
Look once more and see this heart
C.N. 5/12/18


 

Forward and Beyond

When you first rescued me, I became strong.
I felt my hands and feet walking along; the path you created.
I walked and I walked,
Yet nothing. Nothing but wilderness.
Where am I?
I thought I was told to keep walking.
Is this the view of faithfulness?
I'm stumbling, tripping over my thoughts,
In this parched and weary land.
WHERE AM I?
Am I wrong in thinking this was the way?
I didn’t walk this way to become another pile of bones,
Rather, I walk to reach the other side.
I refuse to set up camp as did by my ancestors.
I will persist and move forward towards the upward call,
Moving beyond my imagination and reality.
C.N. 5/9/18


 

Non-physical Existence

What is a memory?
What is a thought?
What is a conscious?
What is a will?
What is a feeling?
What is awareness?
What is common sense?
What is intellect?
The brain is physical, yet what are these?
The composition of a mind?
The non-physicals can not be touched;
They can not be dissected and shown;
They are not tangible, rather intangible
Do they exist?
Does the mind exist?
Does it cease to exist without the evidence of existence?
Can the mind be separated from the brain?
Is the mind material matter?
Is the mind reliant on the brain?
Is the mind a reality of its own?
Is the mind a reality outside the brain?
Is the mind a being of itself?
Is the mind the being?
Is the mind the person?
Is the mind you?
C.N. 4/30/18


 

Standing Before You

Nothing outweighs the magnitude of your name,
For it brings all to fall to their faces;
Your numbing presence makes one fall as if dead;
None can compare to such glory and greatness;
In the midst of your presence, we are hollowed,
And compelled to say, “hallowed be thy name;”
Our thoughts are consumed with “holy, holy, holy;”
Having been made known of your awe-stricken fame
From heaven to earth, and the in-between and the underneath,
The weight of your glory can not be denied;
Indeed, thunder announces your presence,
As your voice speaks a single word,
And in our hearts, your word resides
C.N. 4/30/18

 

Truth

Many are asking what is truth?
But, maybe we should be asking who is truth?
What is grace?
It is our empowerment to yield to truth.
If the fear of the Lord is the rock,
I’m afraid to step off my firm foundation.
Help me to be the one or the one of few,
Who knows you, who knows truth
When will you ask who is truth?
C.N. 4/27/18

 

Full Circle

Ants labor under the sun,
Collecting dirt and leaves;
And ants work under the shade of grass
The grass looks up to the trees,
The trees look up to the sky,
Yet trees bow to the creation of water
Water is released at the sky's command,
But the clouds populate the sky,
Yet part ways for the stars at night
The stars shine in awe of the moon,
Yet the moon dare not boast before the sun,
And the sun dare but boast before the Son
The creator is clothed in glory,
And the creator looks over creation,
And fills creation with glory
C.N. 4/25/18

 

Clinging to the Word

Clinging to the word, like fingertips on a cliff
Clinging to the word, like fangs in a prey
Clinging to the word, like the bonds in a atom
Clinging to the word, like life on a sickbed
Clinging to the word, like an anchor in the sea
Clinging to the word, like joint and marrow
Clinging to the word, like soul and spirit
Clinging to the word, like a triple-braided cord
Clinging to the word, like a limb on a body
Clinging to the word, like roots buried deep
Clinging to the word, like a fly caught in a web
Clinging to the word, like the bond of marriage
C.N. 3/17/18

 

I Know

Houses ladened with snow
Winds scattered over the earth
Paved channels for torrents of rain
Fathered drops of dew
Ice formed in the womb
Frost birth from the heavens
Clouds counted by wisdom
Food provided for the ravens
C.N. 3/9/18


 

Broken Crayons (Spoken Word)

You probably passed by me today,
And heard me singing “Oh say can you see.”
You see me right?
I’m not hidden; I’m in plain sight.
It’s easy to think “not in my backyard, that’s overseas.
America, no, that’s in foreign countries.”
Yet it happened to me, and I was just 13.
I was free, but then I was caught up in modern-day slavery.
But a child, I was robbed.
Where is my innocence? Where is my sound?
California, Florida, Tennessee.
What about Georgia? Atlanta, how did I get to this city?
I was alone. I was tricked. I was trafficked.
Snatched from the streets, now I am working the streets.
But, I am more than a holler, more than a dollar;
More than a pick, more than a fix.
I am more. I am human.
I am a life, part of a movement.
I am within reach, not overseas.
Am I worth saving? Am I worth rescuing?
I’m surrounded by darkness, in need of shining light.
Broken crayons still draw; Restoration is my hope in sight.
C.N. 3/6/18

 

But God

It starts with “But God”...
I can’t, but God
I stumble, but God
I’m weak, but God
I’m lost, but God
My past, but God
My failures, but God
My thoughts, but God
My attitudes, but God
...“is so rich in mercy, and he loved me so much”
C.N. 2/20/18

 

Before and After

I was lost, but now I’m found
I was dead, but now I’m alive
I was blind, but now I see
I was weak, but now I’m strong
I was sick, but now I’m healed
C.N. 2/13/18
 

First

I seek, because He first sought me
I choose Him, because He first chose me
I follow, because He first showed me
I live, because He first died for me
I walk, because He first guided me
I know, because He first thought me
I love, because He first loved me
I do, because He did first
C.N. 2/12/18

 

Be Still

Did I not say that I knew you before you were born
That the pages of your life were written in my book
Your heart is pumping and riddled with anxiousness
Yet, I’ve said peace be to you, do not be troubled
Now listen
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I’ll guide you
I’ll go before you and walk beside you
C.N. 2/4/18

 

Now and Today

2018 is the marking of new beginnings.
A year of becoming in the NOW moment.
The ultimate experience of life.
Unlocking the gate with the key of today.
A shift taking place, passing from old to new.
Conflict to breakthrough.
The alignment of the atmospheres.
Under the will of God.
The ladders have been released,
And the staircases made in plain sight.
The field is ready and ripe as far as one can see.
Hosts have been sent to the nations.
Sifting and sorting and collecting.
Purifying and cleansing and fire.
The spoken words are releasing spirits,
Activating the world of the spiritual realm.
2018 is robed with the radiance of life and energy.
Be loosed from the chains of the past and lies.
See it and believe it and seal it with an amen, vision comes for today,
For the same day it shall be in the span of no time.
The cycle of bondage is exchanged for weightless yokes.
Deliverance and freedom sings.
The sounds of new discoveries can be heard.
The best, although last, is being served NOW.
Doors are opening NOW, the same day.
Time has been compressed and wine is ready today.
The momentum is culminating at an accelerated rate.
What do you want me to do for you?
The question in red asked from a compassionate father.
There will be an unveiling of things previously hidden.
Fear has no place, for the curtains reveal but a puppet,
Dethroned and without strength in the right arm and hand.
With hands lifted high, nothing but praise.
TODAY, the gates are opening that cannot be prevailed
Discernment is the gift of the season, darkness shall be exposed.
Step into the plans without hesitation.
The manifestation and movement of the Spirit is here.
Stand and lift up your eyes, for 2018 ushers in the arrival.
The arrival of NOW and TODAY.
C.N. 1/18/18

 

To the One I Call Mom

To the one who raised me well
To the one who carried me when my strength was weak
To the one who watched over me and made sure I was alright
To the one who advised me along the journey to adulthood
To the one who is as enduring as a lioness queen
To the one who has persisted and stood the test of time
To the one who showed me limitless unconditional love
To the one who taught me what it means to sacrifice daily
To the one who taught me how to be brave
To the one I call mom
Thank you, I love you, be blessed, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY
C.N. 1/17/18

 

Liar

If I were to say I’ve never acted in pride, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve never been narcissistic, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve never stolen, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve never lusted, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve never been pretentious, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve never judged another, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve never cursed another, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve never lashed out in anger, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve never been jealous, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve never rejected correction, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve never been deceptive, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve never lied, I would be a liar
If I were to say I’ve sinned, I would be a sinner in need of forgiveness
If I were to say I’ve never been forgiven, I would be a liar
C.N. 11/15/17

 

Alive

My heart is only a heart,
My eyes are merely eyes
Yet, there's someone alive in me

My body is just my body,
And the body is mechanic
Yet, my soul is alive in it

My heart is just a heart,
Yet, the soul is what hurts
Oh, I look to you for freedom

Release me from the latches of evil
Oh, how your love transgress 39
I am free and alive
C.N. 8/12/17

 

The Door (Spoken Word)

No need to search for a key when the door is open,
Or have you forgotten who our father is.
The one who guides us along the best pathway for our lives,
And advises us and watches over us.
Yes, that father, whose love knows no bounds.
The keyword here is pathway, not pathways,
Which are left you searching for solutions and temporary fixes.
Pathway; the Way, the Truth, the Life.
Our father in heaven, whose knowledge is all knowing.
Who knows your door, and has left it open, waiting upon your arrival.
The true key is trust, the true key is faith.
The faith to see what you can't yet see and trust in your confidence to hope.
This hope is found in our father,
That he is and always will be faithful, and his promises are true.
The door is open, and his season has arrived; Come.
C.N. 8/10/17


 

You

As enduring as the sun, your kingdom stands,
As told by the moon, a witness to your hands
Through all the generations, you have been our home,
From beginning to the end, you are God

I see you in the stars, both above and on earth
I see you in the universe, the one you birthed
Eternally bounded, your principles are absolute
You are perfectly and constantly you
C.N. 8/5/17

 

He

He loves Jesus before me
He loves me
He loves people
He loves helping others

He has a heart for children
He has a heart for the world
He has a grand vision

He has great hair, not too short or long
He has great cooking skills
He has great vocal and musical ability
He has great eyes

He is of a different race
He is taller than me
He is good looking
He is mindful and respectful of me

He is a generous giver
He is a dreamer
He is a visionary
He is an entrepreneur
C.N. 6-7/1-31/17
 

Renew Me

Renew my heart,
Renew my soul
Renew my mind,
And make me whole
C.N. 5/10/17

 

What Is

Your word is true,
Your word is honorable
Your word is right,
Your word is pure
Your word is lovely,
Your word is admirable
Your word is love,
Your word is near
C.N. 3/24/17
 

Kale Salad (Spoken Word)

Where is the fire?
I don't want the cupcake sermons,
I want the kale salad with a cup of veggie juice
You know, the bitter greens and the nasty aftertaste after just one sip
I want the truth, stop feeding me all this junk
Feeding me until I become bloated
Inflating me with emptiness, airiness with no firm standing
No firm foundation, nor an anchor to keep me steady during the raging seas
I don't want the sweets anymore, I'm getting fat on lies
Killing me slowly, or maybe fastly since it's being fed as truth
Losing my ability to distinguish what's real anymore, safe for my body anymore
Give me my kale salad, you know, the real stuff
Although bitter and tough to swallow, it cleanses me
Just like the truth may hurt and sting, it changes me
If I wanted fluff, I would have gone to the world for that
It's not hard to find the lights, camera, gotcha
Ensnared by the traps of the world
I came to hear freedom and deliverance from the entrapments of death
Not butterflies and rainbows blindly leading to a dark abyss
Man on the pulpit, where's has your focus shifted?
Have you grown soft to the truth,
Removing the orange safety cones from the appearance of sin
Redirecting your purpose from the heart of God to the camera lens
Blinded by the flashes of wealth and fame, while your congregation lay in famine
Starved of the truth that serves as the key to the road of recovery and healing,
Rather, drugged up on the morphine of your sermons promising hope and victory
Man on the pulpit, or I guess I should call you pastor, but there's a problem
You were suppose to lead the sheep to the pasture and point them towards life,
But you were led astray, so easily enticed, distracted by the lights, camera, action
Distinguishing your good angles and sides from your bad ones,
Playing it up with the superficial Amens,
Capping off your performance with a holler in exchange for God's presence
Learning your scripts, rather than the scriptures that breath life
Man on the pulpit, I want it straight, I want my kale salad raw and unscathed
C.N. 1/4/17

 

Creation

Chosen amongst many, my life was directed
Two became one, thus I was created
Formed and developed, the womb was my home
Surrounded by darkness, your light was my dome

Masterfully woven, intentionally proclaimed
Called into existence, free and unrestrained
Eternity was spoken, my purpose was set in stone
In my heart it was written, your plans became my own

The keys I have been given, unlocking my path to destiny
In you I am found, discovering my one true identity
Unique and special, I am no routine imitation
You are my Creator, and I am your created creation
C.N. 12/20/16


 

What Is This Gift Inside of Me?

What is this gift inside of me?
It calls out every day, unafraid
Unafraid to explore pass the limits
Once limited by me, no more
No more fear, no more worry
Bold and confident to what lies ahead
Moving forward, not backwards, towards destiny
A future of destiny bundled in a package
Waiting for my choosing, His choosing of me
Waiting for my acceptance to walk by faith
Faith and trust in His ability, my source
The source of truth and power

What is this gift inside of me?
Yearning to be released
To be set free in its entirety
Not halfway, but all the way
Completely moved by the Spirit
His Spirit inside of me
My source, my strength, my power
The power to overcome and lift my head high
Reaching higher than I ever have before
Watching the impossible become possible
Limitless and unconstrained
Overflowing with grace, Yes!

What is this gift inside of me?
Knocking and waiting for a response
Open the door, He's standing there
The time is passing by
My time on God's time
Just enough by the second, by the minute
Culminating into a vision
Envisioning to dreams set before me
Larger than my ability, my imagination
Greater than anything out there
There is no precedence
A dream elevated through my source

What is this gift inside of me?
By grace, I've been empowered
The empowerment to not fall, but to rise
Stand to my feet and be firm
Anointed with the cloud of glory
In the presence of His glory
His ways, His truths, His life
New life, New hope, New future
A dream fulfilled in His newness
Behold, I've been created new
Gifted with the Holy Spirit
Behold, the gift inside of me
C.N. 11/1/16

 

Define It, Then Squash It

Define exhausting,
Walking in endless circles
Define a sick heart,
Hope deferred

Define fearing,
Unwillingness to walk by faith
Define safe living,
Acting absurd

Define refreshing,
Experiencing new adventures
Define a tree of life,
A dream matured

Define fearless,
Being bold
Define Spirit living,
Being reassured
C.N. 10/18/16

 

Identity

Painted by society
Two notches down
I have the black chip
I have the woman chip
Society has frowned

Before I am female
Before I am brown
I am called
I am chosen
I am crowned

Elevated above the physical
Higher than my entity
Seen in the true light
I am a child of God
My true identity
C.N. 10/16/16
 

What is True?

Blood thirsty vampire
Eager and hungry
First sight, locked eyes
Twisted reality
What is true?

Ferocious eyelashes
Sighs and pants
Passion ablaze,
Solicitor leech
What is true?

Butterflies assemble
Giggle to a silence
Staring eye to eye
Standing toe to toe
What is true?

Forward falling
Picture perfect
Snap, snap
Flash photography
What is true?

The big L
Love, loovvveee
Instant connection
Together forever
What is true?

Twisted philosophy
Lies and standards
Falsehood projections
Thank you media
What is true?
C.N. 4/1/16
 

This Generation

Youth bloomers assembling crowds
Traditional molds fervently disavowed
Burning fires stirring hearts
Spirited revival relinquishing imparts
More than conquerors, mighty warriors
This generation is demolishing barriers

This generation will issue in the season
This generation will marginalize reason
Human wisdom and understanding will seem meaningless
This generation will bring sense to the senseless
The house of miracles will overwhelm
This generation will unleash the heavenly realm

Ineffable passion set ablaze
The mysteries of above no longer cached
Revolutionary breakthroughs impending an epidemic
Glory stimulating the atmosphere, exceedingly energetic
The eyes of the heart receiving revelation
This generation is the generation of generations
C.N. 3/6/16


 

Who Am I?

I am neither good or evil,
I am not able to truly make you happy
The more you have of me,
The more I am tugged in many directions
With your bare hands, you won me over,
But at the hands of others, I am quickly taken away
Who am I, that you would want me?
How meaningless it is for you to want me,
For I am here one moment and gone the next
C.N. 2/6/16

 

More Than

More than a body
More than a possession
More than a whistle
More than a holler

More than a barcode
More than a price
More than a paper bill
More than a pay check

More than a call-girl
More than a prostitute
More than a number
More than a slave
C.N. 2/3/16

 

For The Other

Exhausted and worn out,
Becoming the ears for the other,
Hearing the words for the other,
Tell him this, tell her that
Becoming the face for the other,
Interpreting the facts for the other,
He meant this, she meant that

Pause

He said that, she said this
Tell him this, tell her that
Becoming the messenger for the other,
Becoming the face for the other,
Becoming the thoughts, hope, strength, shoulder,
Presence, joy, harsh reality, sympathy, voice of reason,
And everything else for the other

Pause and reflect

For the other, I have grown weary
For the other, I have grown burdened
For the other, I have grown frustrated
For the others refuse to listen
For the others refuse to communicate,
For the others refuse to forgive
For the other, I have grown mute

Pause
C.N. 1/2/16
 

New Year

Surrounded by crackling noises,
With a view between the trees
Sitting in a frigid car,
On New Year's Eve

Counting down the minutes,
To end the year's final day
Followed by the seconds,
It's New Year's Day
C.N. 1/1/16
 

Unanswered Calls

Talking to a dog
"Come here, good boy... good girl"
Like a dog never falls on deaf ears
Bark bark bark... I'm here
Oh man, are we not better than that?
Why the unanswered calls?
Unanswered calls from humanity

"Sorry man, I ain't got nothing...
Me and myself have to survive"
Me me me first first first
Me first, but why?
Why the hesitation?
Why the tight hold?
Why the selfish presentation?

Talk about having nothing, but those shoes,
And that watch, and that shirt
Really, nothing?
Nothing for humanity
Nothing but unanswered calls,
All for the sake of, "I need all"
How's it working, the time has come, you can't take none

Unroll the list of deeds, watch and see
All that you've done because of greed
I hope your pleased and you met your needs,
But the time has come, get on your knees
It's too late, you had your chance
Look down and take a glance
Your fall will be like an avalanche

Endless falling, there's no stopping
Breeze is flowing, wind is blowing
Heart is beating, heart is pumping
Heart is sinking, heart is dropping 35
In the blink of an eye,
You've arrived with no style
Realize times that your in,
An everlasting hell pin

Intensified heat, screeching screams
A pit of darkness, gnashing teeth
Sorrow and misery is your new reality
Then a beam... I see the sunlight
Thank God it's just a dream
What if this happened to me
Not me, but you, the one who's in disbelief

Haven't you ever heard, you reap what you sow
You can't deny it, at least you've been told
Truth be told, you have been given a chance
It's up to you to take a stance on grounds of deliverance

Change your ways or remain the same
Next time you'll have no one to blame
But yourself, no one's going to save you from the flames,
So stop playing those games
Don't leave the unanswered calls for the sake of humanity,
For their cries ring out, it's just plain pure sanity

One unanswered call is one less opportunity
To walk the path he sets,
His perfect plan intuitively
Your thought and your way will lead nowhere but flames
Your first thought should not be me first, my name

You see,
Don't find your purpose in your things or your life,
Rather focus on the purpose that is found in Jesus Christ
For the sake of humanity,
Not one unanswered call was left in perfection
He gave us the proud victory,
With the nails and His resurrection
C.N. 1/1/16
 

Ravens

The ravens, they cry
"Caw, caw, caw"
Oh, ravenous ravens
Where will you find feed?

Soaring the skies
Pecking down below
He hears your cries
He feeds and provides
C.N. 12/27/15


 

Little Birdy's Chirp

The little birdy told me,
Chirp chirp chirp
Chitter chatter

The little birdy told me,
Tweet tweet tweet
Twitter twatter

The little birdy told me,
Speak speak speak
"I speak bird?"
C.N. 12/25/15


 

Release Unforgiveness

The shortness of breath reprises its role,
Through the seed of unforgiveness,
For the heart becomes caged as the roots grow

Unlock the chains with the key of humility,
Bringing forth great freedom,
For there is no better guarantee

Suddenly, an epiphany, defy the perception,
Nail it to the cross, and
Lighten the burden of bitter stagnation
C.N. 12/12/15



 

Music To Me

Dancing to a heartbeat
Moving with the stream
Listening to the full street
Singing with a dream

Woah, that's music to me

Playing with your footsteps
Leaping with joy
Glistening full of sun rays
Doing the things you enjoy

That's music to me
Music to me

It's for the special-minded
The that breathes excitement for the things we love
It's for the simple-kinded
Concealed within the boundaries of above

I know there's mysteries
Give me just one reason to believe

Dancing to a heartbeat
Moving with the stream
Listening to the full street
Singing with a dream

Woah, that's music to me
Music to me, music to me

Music to me
Music to me
C.N. 12/10/15

 

Fire

Burn me up and consume me,
And I will take on a new form
From solid to ashes,
The old me is gone

Engulfed in flames,
What was and is no longer
The scent of fire
Destroyed my hunger

For the past brings many,
Stigma, depravity, and futility
For the new brings the new
Purpose, joy, and longevity

Forever a child,
The hopes I aspire
I've been made new
Thank you fire
C.N. 12/10/15
 

What is My Dream

What is my dream,
It doesn't seem like anything
Wandering through my daily thing
Going to school for a hopeless degree
It means nothing to me
What is it I can't see
There's a better way that's not my own

It's not like I'm an actor,
Who takes the big leap of faith
Stepping out beyond the gates
of a plane that lands in Hollywood
Who's nervous for that one big break
Thinking of the huge stakes,
But remember, it's what he aspires
It is his dream.. What is my dream

It's not like I'm a doctor,
Who took the time to study
So she could be ready,
For anything and everything that's thrown her way
Eager to save a life and give the patient good advice,
And tell them to buckle down and fight the good fight
It's what she aspires
It is her dream... What is my dream

It's what I aspire
To be in a position, driven by a mission
To help others, lead others, tell others
Of the way, the truth, and the life
But it's so vague, but it's so broad
I'm so scared to leave the comfort of a facade
Is this real, am I right, that this could be me

It is my dream, it is my dream
It's what I aspire, it is my dream
What is my dream

What is my dream
It doesn't seem like anything
Wandering through my daily thing
Going to school for a hopeless degree
It means nothing to me
What is it I can't see
God's got the better way that's not my own
C.N. 12/10/15

 

Gone

Sleeping in the cylinders
Laying to rest
Awaken by the owner with deep distress
Lost and confused
Unsure what to do
Take a life, end a life, or do something out of the blue

Pacing frantically still,
As the mind prepares for bed
Piercing the very beat of life
Splashing the white with red
Tick, tick, tick
Not a sound to be heard
The silence rings loud, yet dimmed and unheard
C.N. 8/6/15


 

Picture Real

Picture real
Real life, real..., real joy
Yet, real is not reality
The real that you want is not the reality of the situation
The smiles in the picture don't reflect reality
Like a double sided coin,
Laying in waits to be flipped
What will be seen?
On one side lies the outsiders looking in
Clean, crisp, and perfect
Yes, this is how it is
On the other side lies the insiders looking out
Raw, disconnected, and broken
Cover your eyes, I'll change it
C.N. 8/6/15

 

Parent Fawn

Young fawn
Weighed down by the pressures of the deers,
Who can barely see one another,
As their once stellar ears become faded

Young fawn
Caught up in the middle
Becoming a messenger,
And the teller of the other one's words

Young fawn
Held by the snare meant for the other
Unforgiveness, bitterness, untrustworthiness, proud minded,
And the deception of being the winner

Parent fawn
Take the forested areas
Expose it to the edge and light,
And release yourself of the burden
No more lies, no more pain, no more weights
Embracing the patterns of a fawn,
And a deer no more
C.N. 8/5/15


 

Faded Spears

The hurled spears met the heart,
Leading to a shut down of its entire being,
Love and life alike
Bruises and damages has taken over,
Further severing the remains
From an artificial joy to a genuine cry
A heavy wailing has built up inside, so inexpressible
The expressions burst, raw and unwanted
The owner's face is crunched up and defeated
Quite the mess that is left behind moving forward
Taking up courage and refusing to be moved
For it is wise to use the tongue to count the teeth
Remaining faithful and hopeful in the Lord
Getting through the first set was only the beginning
Temporarily, the spears are faded
C.N. 7/30/15


 

I Choose To Forgive

The bruise spoke to me
Just another accident
Sorry for the encounter
Objects suddenly pick up flight,
Crazy, you know
Followed by sharp words and force
Lights out
Awaken from a dream of reality
The conscience is still asleep
Subduing the memories
Blank space pushed memories
Forget about it
Start afresh
Wash, recycle, and repeat
I forgive you
Objects suddenly pick up flight,
Crazy, you know
Yep, I forgive you
C.N. 8/12/14

 

Memories (Metaphysical Poem)

Memories, you are a short lived performance
You prance around the inner parts of the conscience,
Leaving behind varying sizes of remnants from the past
You bring a tear drop to the eyes of many,
But your euphoria penetrates the darkness clinging on for dear life
Embracing you from time to time is the only way to move on
You are the tattoo that never fades,
For there is no undo with your mark
A lasting impression has been made on us
Do not be forgetful of what you have done
C.N. 2/8/13